is "blissfully unaware" the right way to describe it?
does that make sense to you?
now i know that for me that being busy equals avoiding things.
work all day, flip from smart to big mouth to slacker,
come home, play dress-up, paint my lips
and leave again.

i act my age but when do I stop?
when do I tire, or take a step up?
or wash my dishes and shine my shoes?
theres not enough thinking time.
not enough "15 step" and (nice dream) and electioneering
instead its small talk over champagne and hugs and cheek kisses

which is all okay,
i just need my token mellow friday night and saturday day to catch up on it all.

I was hesitant,
Is it wrong to be hesitant?
Once again hesitation was holding me back,
Not him, not the girl checking names,
me.

I turned it off,
that so-called rational thinking,
and walked into the tent,
got my card and took my seat,
who, me?

horn, thump, im no joan didion,
ill be the one, the one that might,
cry at the sight and sound of
all of it, yes thats right
me, cry.

it was a taste,
a tiny dip in the pool
of my future, can't wait,
its there, a sip of future addiction,
me, high.


haven't come down yet.

lead-foot,
bottomless-pit,
drunk-dialer,
chain-smoker,
clothes-horse,

i want my cup filled,
i want my heart punched,
and my ears drowned in music.

i want to talk to you,
i want that book to read,
and just another hour away from home.

snort it sip it puff it touch it,
call me touch me text me love me.

what am i looking for