Wednesday, August 31, 2011

the other half

- the realization that no one will ever truly be there for you
- when you get what you want, there's a chance you won't want it anymore
- distance makes the heart grow more desperate and delusional
- we can leave at any time. like disappear. Just slip out the back, Jack!

50 Ways to Leave Your Lover - Paul Simon

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Monday, August 8, 2011

just before 2, the night about to come to a close as far as the public is concerned.
wrap your arms around him, close as can be, elbows reaching his neck.
he is yours and you are his and everyone sees it.
dancing as one human, duo in nature but on the exact same page.
you are drunk and happy and you are one fucking moment together spinning away.

remember that feeling

Saturday, August 6, 2011

surround me with strangers

surround me with strangers
so that i may remain detached from the people that bring me smiles and the same ones that force me into solitude and silent tears.

surround me with strangers
so that i may feel light. rip every last one of my fingers from his arm so that i can float up above it all, blissfully solo, yearning but in control again.

surround me with strangers sot hat i may mimic their required amount of energy, spouting back thier chipper pitch and friendly gesture.

Let me forget what sits deep in my gut for just a moment as I sit amongst the strangers in complete anonymity, gving myself silently to their causes in return.

Oh that Greg! Always in the best mood, and Tim with the baby face - hope his school is going well! Don't forget sassy Sally and her gold hoop earrings - always good for a laugh!

And let me never learn their true names, for everyone gets to keep their secrets and I get to pretend they are as simple as they appear in their work uniforms, one dimensional and uncomplicated all the while I becoming one of them, checking my troubles on the doormat of the coffee shop.

I'll eventually have to leave them when my mug runs dry or I decide its time to retire to sleep. I'll leave them and pick back up my troubles as I go, attempting to drown them out with music on the drive home. But they'll make themselves known again, always visible from the corner of my eye like a rogue wisp of my hair that wonders into the peripheral. I'll eventually allow it to full view, and while it encompasses my day I'll think fondly of the strangers from the night before.